Eventually Fabien became so sick that we had to return to Chang Mai to take him to the hospital. He had a pretty nasty infection in his throat, and the doctor ordered him to rest for at least three days.
We returned the Suzuki Caribbean and ended up staying in a very nice, new furnished apartment complex called Viangbua Mansion. It was a very posh place set in a very real Thai neighborhood in Chang Mai. I liked the classy digs much more. After having slept on rigid, hard mattresses, I enjoyed the break of sleeping on comfortable beds and working with a strong Wi-Fi signal. I spent the next few days working and getting caught up, while Fabien grumbled and was generally grouchy. Nothing too exciting during this time, but again I was very productive work-wise. I am now on the train from Chang Mai to Bangkok. I will be flying to New Delhi, India on March 4th. Although I am not particularly thrilled to go back to Bangkok, I booked a place on the backpacker path, so I expect to see more travelers of my ilk this time. Should be a pretty low key four days until I make it to Delhi.
After a few days in Pai, Fabien, Sylvia and I left for Mae Hong Son. Mae Hong Son is a town further out and a jumping off point to go visit local hill tribes. The drive there was stunning and having a giant Dutch girl stuffed into the converted half backseat of the Suzuki was pretty funny.
As time passed, I realized that Fabien was right, and we had a major liability on our hands. Sylvia complained about everything during the trip: the music, the bumpy road, her desire not to stay in some of the smaller villages to which we drove after being fed and invited by some extremely generous locals. She also made unbelievably awkward comments, saying things like, “Well there are three of us now. Who is going to become the third wheel?” Or “I really just want to travel all over Southeast Asia; all I really need now is a boyfriend to do it with.” For reasons I can’t explain, this sounded so desperate, and it made every moment with her unbearably awkward.
Her complaints continued all through Mae Hong Son and into the following day when we visited Long Neck Tribes on the border of Burma. That was the day that Sylvia got sick, and although she was puking into plastic bags every hour on the hour, she insisted that she come. She tagged along and spent the day dry heaving and puking; she required babysitting in the car for hours at a time. I was nearing my wit’s end and Fabien had already blown his fuse a few times.
The giant Dutch girl had to go.
We dropped her off in Mae Hong Son, so she could catch a bus. We continued on to Chang Rai, the northernmost large city in Thailand and the gateway to the notorious Golden Triangle: the place where Thailand, Burma, and Laos meet.
With our goal to abandon the tourist track, Fabien and I rented a Jeep in Chang Mai. It may have been the best decision of the entire trip. I never realized how much I like to drive and the freedom that comes from being behind the wheel. In Ko Tao, we considered buying a scooter with an aluminum-rigged sidecar, a vehicle used by many delivery persons. After investigating the purchase, however, we learned that though it’s rarely prosecuted, the scooters are illegal. Renting an open-top Jeep seemed like the best option. I called a bunch of places all over southern Thailand before finding that Chang Mai would be the best place to rent. We took an overnight sleeper train from Chumphon to Bangkok, dealt with a one hour layover, and then departed for Chang Mai. I liked Chang Mai. Though it happens to be a bigger city, it’s much more laid back and easier to explore than Bangkok. Fabien and I got up early that day, did our research and ended up renting a Suzuki Caribbean. It’s sort of like the clown car version of a Jeep Wrangler. There were no open top small SUVs in all of Chang Mai.
Let me stop and discuss how ridiculous Fabien is for a moment. For starters, he has red hair; that should say a lot from the get go. He is also the lead singer and guitarist in a funk band called Iggy Wiggy and the Ugly Fat Chicks. In the matter of musical tastes, we couldn’t have been more compatible. His favorite band in the entire world is P-Funk. Mine, too.
We resolved that whatever kind of car we rented should be set up to accommodate an MP3 player. We rented our small SUV from Chang Mai’s Journey car rentals with two requirements—one, that we have the most inclusive insurance, as we were likely to get into an accident and two, that they would drive us to the outskirts of the city before I had to drive.
They honored the first condition but ignored the second; we were left with our new car on the side of a major highway. It was at this point that Fabien decided to inform me that in the Netherlands, he had neither a driver’s license nor a car. Fabien was unprepared to drive on the left side of the road using a stick shift, and I was totally disoriented from attempting to drive a vehicle that appeared to be a mirror image of any car I’d ever driven. Our driver began to hitchhike back to the city, leaving us in a swarm of rush hour traffic. I tried to make the case to Fabien that he was better equipped to drive since I had no experience with driving on the left side of the road.
I may have won the battle but lost the war, because I was still the only one who could drive. So I did what I had to do. I started the car, adjusted the mirrors, took a few deep breaths, put the car into gear, pulled out onto the highway, and promptly stalled out in the middle of gridlocked traffic. As calmly as I could manage, I restarted the car, put it into gear, moved about five feet and then stalled out again. This was the inauspicious beginning to the most challenging day of driving I have ever experienced.
We set out for Pai, a small town on the infamous Mae Hong Son loop, a road revered by motorcyclists worldwide. They come to ride its treacherous twists and turns. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those bikers and I was left to drive that road for the next week. The four hours it took for us to make it to Pai were harrowing. We were driving in the dark with crazy truck drivers passing and honking.
Though totally terrifying, it was also one of the most spectacular drives I have ever taken. We stopped at a gorgeous waterfall and took some amazing pictures. By the end of the trek, I was actually pretty comfortable driving the Suzuki and I really liked it.
Most importantly, we succeeded in getting off the tour bus and finding the opportunity to create our own destiny.
I am now an Open Water Diver, certified by SCUBA Schools International. I received my certification in Ko Tao which, when translated, means Turtle Island. I arrived in Ko Tao after taking a six hour train ride from Bangkok to Chumphon, followed by a two and a half hour ferry ride to the island.
I was so thrilled to be out of Bangkok and back on solid ground that after checking into my hotel, I went out for a very long run. I ran all the way to the less traveled eastern side of the island. After an exhausting trek straight up the mountain ridge, I found a beautiful little beach cove with a giant cliff that I knew would be perfect for diving. I kicked off my shoes, tossed my MP3 player to the ground, and dove into the beautiful, turquoise water. I survived that first dive, so I had to do it a few more times to relive the moment.
After cooling off in the water, I returned to Hat Sairee, the central beach in Ko Tao where my hotel was located. As much as I would’ve liked to continue with the ‘all fun and no work’ philosophy, I had to take a few days to catch up. Don’t feel too sorry for me, though. I managed to find a restaurant with Wi-Fi right on the beach. It was by far the best office for which I could ever hope. Ko Tao is an island built for vacationers. Whenever anyone asked what I was doing while there, I explained that I was working; each time, I was told I was crazy. I realized that it would be crazier for me to not be in Thailand for work. If I weren’t traveling, I’d be back home, doing exactly the same thing, only bundled up indoors in a freezing Midwest city.
Ko Tao covers an area of around 21 km²; it’s such a tiny island. Amazingly, though, there are 42 SCUBA schools, making it the second most popular place in the world (after Cairns, Australia) to become an Open Water Diver. Incidentally, it’s also the least expensive. My four day SCUBA course at Big Blue Diving cost 9000 baht or $250. This included instruction, diving, and accommodation.
I think the enterprise of getting certified is actually one of the funnier things I have experienced. The first 15 minutes of the course are pretty cool, because you begin to develop an appreciation for how amazing, foreign and beautiful the underwater world actually is. Immediately after this lovely introduction, however, you’re knocked over the head with scare tactics. It’s very similar to a driver’s education course until you actually get into the water. The first time you get behind the wheel, you realize how dangerous a car can be. The same is not true for SCUBA, however, and I typically don’t take well to scare tactics.
I bonded with my instructors Panos (from Greece) and Nico (from Germany) and my four classmates: Andy (from Dubai), Steffen (from Denmark), Jennifer (from Sweden), and a German guy who spoke no English and couldn’t tell anyone his name. By the end of our second day of learning about all of the horrific methods of killing yourself with a single hose diving regulator, two people had dropped out. Only Andy, Steffen and I remained.
After one and a half days of scare tactics, we were finally able to get in the water. I was overwhelmed by what a beautiful experience it was—so quiet and peaceful. All you have to do is breathe. During each dive, we had to spend around 10 to 15 minutes demonstrating underwater skills. For example, we had to exhibit our ability to remove our masks and clear water from them, and we had to show that we could take off our weight belts and put them back on.
You always have the option of swimming up for air, but you put yourself at risk by ascending too quickly. You could develop an air embolism or experience decompression sickness; nitrogen in your bloodstream comes out of solution, giving you “the bends.” These are very real problems and can be life threatening. We were all very aware of this fact after two days of scary stories.
This is what makes the behavior of one of my classmates so shocking. You always dive with a buddy in SCUBA. My ‘buddy’ was Andy, a very level-headed former rugby player from Dubai. Steffen, a nomadic Dane with long, blonde dreadlocks, was a major liability underwater. It is everyone’s responsibility to look out for the rest of your SCUBA team. Steffen constantly scared the shit out of me. We were in the middle of our first dive, and I was doing a routine check for the rest of my team. I found my buddy Andy, and we exchanged the universal ‘OK’ sign. I did the same with our instructors Panos and Nico. I was looking around for Steffen and I couldn’t find him. I looked everywhere and didn’t see him at all.
Finally, out of the corner of my eye I saw him all the way at the SURFACE, just breathing regular air. After all of our warnings and drills about potential problems and how to solve them underwater without ascending too quickly, Steffen ran into a small problem with his vest and ascended 24 feet to get air. This is a nightmare scenario in SCUBA, but he ignored all of our lessons, and just nonchalantly did exactly what he was taught not to do. This became a theme on our trips: “Where is Steffen?” The answer? He could be anywhere. Generally, his swimming style was to swim 10 feet below or above the rest of the team. This gave him a range of 20 feet. Just doing that was a dangerous move, but he never seemed to mind. When we would ultimately surface, I would exasperatedly ask, “Steffen, what are you thinking?” His response was typically, “Huh.”
Though you’d think our dives were intended solely for emergency Steffen searches, we also managed to see some amazing marine life. The highlight was swimming with a sea turtle for five minutes. SCUBA is a sport that I have truly come to love. I think the funniest moment of the entire course for me was when our guest lecturer Alex told us that SCUBA was a sport—not just a sport but a team sport. He told us to take a moment and really think about that. I did and then I laughed out loud. The whole idea of SCUBA buddies and of our being a SCUBA team was just too funny to me. It’s true that you put your life into these people’s hands, but to call it a team sport is comical, because the sport involves activities off the “playing field”—like reminding your SCUBA buddy not to get drunk the night before diving, making sure they drink enough water, and not allowing them to exercise afterwards. Because most of the SCUBA experience is what happens before you get in and after you out of the water, much of the sport takes place in the realm of real life. Being a good team member may involve reminding someone to “Take five” or to say, “Hey relax on the booze dude. The team has a big dive tomorrow, and we need you fresh.”
Big Blue Diving is one of the oldest and most respected schools on the island. Like the rest of the tourists in Ko Tao, the instructors are mostly European. They also love bad movies. Given the emphasis in SCUBA of diving in pairs, the overwhelmingly macho attitude, and the claim of Big Blue that the school was “the best of the best,” the fact that no one had ever made the analogy to the movie “Top Gun” was perplexing. As soon as I drew what seemed to be a cliché analogy, the place exploded. I asked my instructor, “Didn’t you want to know?” “What?” he said. I replied, “You know, ‘Who’s the best?’” I made a few references to his Ice Man-like diving.
Steffen’s buddy Jennifer dropped out of the course. In retrospect, it was a very wise choice on her part, so I pointed out that Steffen was like Maverick and Jennifer was like Goose. (Steffen was actually more like the guy who farted in the Top Gun classroom.) Anyway, the Top Gun theme took the dive school by storm. The following day, many of the instructors had adopted Top Gun-inspired names and listed these on the dive board.
During the hour-long boat ride out to the dive site, the dive instructors proceeded to serenade the underwater videographer with a spirited round of “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling.” Top Gun had literally turned this place upside down. I’m quite sure it is still going on, despite my having left. I’m not sure that the place will ever fully recover.
I have come to appreciate SCUBA as a sport and realize that in many ways, there are a lot of life lessons to be drawn. The sport comes down to remaining calm in the face of potentially dangerous scenarios. You prepare thoroughly for those treacherous situations. At one point I lost my mask and temporarily, I couldn’t see. I panicked but then remembered the mantra: “Stop, Breathe, Think, and Act.” I did just that, continuing to breathe calmly from my regulator and managed to solve the problem. It reminded me that in many real world situations, when I’ve overcome some sort of temporary setback, the method of my doing so was simple: Stop, Breathe, Think and Act. It’s simple and unbelievably effective.
I have now left Ko Tao. I took a sleeper train to Bangkok with a two hour lay over at the train station there. I am writing this on the train north to Chang Mai, where I am planning to rent a Jeep to explore the countryside with fellow traveler Fabien Valkenburgh. Fabien fancies himself a Dutch rock star. It should be fun.
The original plan was to travel directly to India, but I flew into Bangkok instead. I researched Thailand, and it seemed like an amazing place, very friendly to travelers. Bangkok was a rude awakening though. Most travelers come into this city on the way to somewhere else; many are middle-of-the-night-delirious from long flights and time changes. I was no exception. I hadn’t gotten more than two hours of sleep since leaving Columbus. I was feeling pretty rough when I first got to Bangkok, and that only worsened as a few days passed with no sleep. Everything is a blur. Still, I decided early on that I would make haste out of the city and start the rest of my journey.
These are my blurry and vague recollections of a sprawling metropolis that seems like a country unto itself.
I arrived at Suk 11 Hostel at 3 AM. It’s on a small side street off of Sukumvit Road, the major thoroughfare. My cab driver had no idea how to find the exact address. Outside Suk 11, the scene was apocalyptic. Dozens of Thai women cat-calling, “Ooh come here handsome man,” among more explicit requests. The street was filled with older European men with very young-looking Asian women. I realized that in my quest to stay out of Khoasan Road, the very touristy backpacker zone, I inadvertently booked a room in the middle of an expat/red light district. I was standing in the middle of the street, my huge backpack and camera bag slipping off of one shoulder and a gargantuan duffle of clothes packed for India in my hand. With my laptop backpack over the other shoulder, I was essentially incapacitated by luggage and needed to make my way 100 yards to get to my hotel to escape this den of iniquity. My particular hotel did not cater to the ‘sexpat’ crowd. After a Herculean effort of balancing my bags and having the entire street laugh at me, I finally made it into the hotel. I climbed the four floors to my room, turned on the AC and collapsed on my bed, only to sit there for hours in a daze. I got no sleep that night.
It was also around this time that I realized how much I hate hauling around luggage and the whole ‘moving’ part of traveling by backpack.
My hotel was pretty cool actually—a VERY old, wooden structure in the middle of a concrete jungle. There were many cool travelers of all ages staying there, and it was a great place from which to explore the city.
The next day I went to Pantip Plaza, the computer mecca of Bangkok, to pick up some accessories for my laptop. Pantip Plaza is an indoor shopping mall which specializes in electronics. Stores carry computers, software, DVDs and games. There were four to five floors of electronic everything-you-could-imagine. Surprisingly, the prices for laptops were similar, if not slightly higher, than I usually see in the US. There were tons of accessories manufactured in China though, and those were significantly cheaper. I was particularly interested to see a whole floor of computer-nerd vendors offering on-site computer repair. Considering the number of people who have problems with Windows-based computers in the US, I’m surprised that we don’t have much more than Best Buy’s Geek Squad.
Being a street-food aficionado, I can tell you that my favorite part of the city is the food. It’s by far the best city I’ve ever visited for street food. My meals have been simply amazing. The streets are well represented with Thai food and cuisine from all over the world. The Thai eat small meals all day long, sampling many different dishes. People eat from small Styrofoam trays that are loaded with everything from Thai curry vegetables to ham and cheese sandwiches.
I can see how Bangkok could be a very cool city to live in. If you know where to go—and maybe more importantly—where not to go, you could explore this city for years.
That said, I’ve hated my time in Bangkok, because the city is a hectic, nasty, chaotic metropolis. After two sleepless nights, I changed hotels. It took me more than 2.5 hours to travel 1 mile, because the traffic was so awful. I grew impatient sitting in the back of a cab during a traffic jam, and decided to walk it instead. Naturally, after maneuvering myself, my giant backpack and day pack out of the cab and into the pouring rain, the traffic instantly cleared. It was a dreadful experience.
After changing hotels and getting around six hours of sleep, I started to feel a hell of a lot better. I’m still not totally with it, though, and I’m realizing how little I like hauling around my stuff. Still, I love exploring new places and I’m starting to think about what I want to get out of this experience. Going and seeing sites is fun and interesting, but I don’t want to spend all of my time doing that. I’d rather keep some of my daily routines (and not forgetting to exercise) while living in interesting places. I am also learning that I don’t like dawdling and doing nothing while traveling any more than I do in the US. And back home, I absolutely despise it.
I resolved to catch the first train south out of Bangkok, because I want to start an open water SCUBA certification course as soon as possible. I was able to catch an afternoon train from Bangkok to Chumphon, where I’ll take a ferry to the island Ko Tao, one of the best and least expensive places to learn SCUBA in the world.
Hello. My name is Rob. I'm the Co-Founder of SpeakerSite.com, the largest online marketplace for public speakers, Co-Founder of BULX, an private-sale website for high end home improvement and Founder of Boundaryless Brands a family of ecommerce companies.
I am also the Founder & Chair of the nonprofit The Keren Emrich Foundation | Road of Life which has distributed over $70 million of health prevention curriculum to more than 250,000 children.
